Worth the Wait
by EyesFullOfGalaxies
Summary: Alice has two soul marks, a rarity. Steve thinks his soul mate has to be dead even though he still has a mark. And Bucky can't remember much about his mark beyond the fact that it's important. If it's meant to be, then they'll find each other. Disclaimer: I own nothing from Marvel or the Avengers movies...sadly.
1. Insecurities

**Brooklyn, New York – 1942**

"Do you think she'll like me?"

James Buchanan Barnes, better known to his friends as simply Bucky, paused in the middle of straightening his tie. "What?"

"Our girl. Do you think she'll like me?" Steven Rogers was in the bathroom across the hall from Bucky's room, twisting this way and that way to analyze his body in the mirror. Scrawny arms, skinny torso, wimpy jaw… He leaned in and searched his face, crinkling his nose at what he considered to be nearly rat-like features thanks to his size. It took everything in him not to scowl at his friend when Bucky's chiseled features appeared behind him in the reflection.

"Steve…"

"I mean it, Buck. What's she need me for when she's got a guy like you?" He couldn't help it as his voice filled with frustration. He wasn't daft- he saw the way the dames twisted in their seats to get a glimpse of Bucky. Half the time they didn't even register that he was there too until he spoke, and he was waiting for the day where they wouldn't notice even that anymore.

"Oh my- you have _plenty_ to offer a woman, ya fathead!"

"What kind of a girl falls for a man who can't even fight for his own country?"

"Don't start this again…"

"It's true! And what happens if you meet her over there? You think she's gonna want to come home to meet the man who couldn't keep up with her other mark? I don't thi-"

"Steve, it's not gonna be like that at all, even if I find her first." Bucky interrupted him, knowing better than to let Steve tear himself apart for too long. "We've talked about this. She's going to love you, no matter what. Hell, that's part of the system! She wouldn't be yours too unless there was a good reason for it."

The smaller man released an exasperated breath and tried to reel his emotions back in. He was right, as always. It was so easy for him to doubt himself in any given situation, let alone one where he was pitted against Bucky. Seeing his friend's body loosen up again, he playfully nudged Steve.

"You can wow her with your artistic skills. Maybe draw a picture of her staring at me, drooling all over the place!" Steve snorted loudly at that and felt the rest of his doubts fall away (for now).

"If you're all she has to stare at, then I pity the poor gal!" The two men shared a laugh before Steve's gaze returned to the mirror. This time however he turned to see the words that delicately trailed along the curve of his right shoulder. The letters were big and bubbly, but slanted and messy in other places. He had always attributed such an odd combination to an artsy and well-educated woman. One who was bursting full of words and couldn't be bothered to keep them nice and neat because she just had too much to say.

Bucky followed suit and pulled down his collar to see the words that lined his left collarbone, in the exact same messy handwriting that decorated his friend's body. He, on the other hand, always thought of a feisty little dame with wild hair. He couldn't put a finger on exactly why he thought so, but the chaotic scrawl led him to picture long, long hair and a big smile. Most girls he knew chose the trendy short style lately, but he didn't think his girl would be the type to follow the crowd.

"I can't wait to meet her." Steve murmured, tracing the long slanted top of a 't' that flicked upwards at the end.

"Me too bud, me too." The taller man slowly ran his thumb across the letters once more before fixing his shirt and tie back into place. "But for now, let's go get a hot dog! I'm too hungry to be hearing about this again."

"No dates this time, please." He groaned in response, rolling his eyes as Bucky's smile only widened.

"How are we ever going to meet her if we never go out? Relax, it's fine, everyone dates before finding the one! That's how you find them to begin with."

"I don't know Buck, it just feels wrong."

"If it does, then she's not the one. Simple as that."

 **Marblehead, Ohio – 1998**

Brenda hummed happily as she gently tugged down the birthday banner- an ugly, tacky, colorful abomination that for some reason Alice found wonderful. The birthday girl in question sat at the table beside her, quietly picking at a piece of cake. Her long ginger hair had long since fallen out of its elegant bun and was in great danger of getting dragged through blue frosting, but that was the last thing on her mind at the moment.

"Auntie, am I a slut?"

The older woman's head snapped to face her so quickly that she nearly fell off of the step stool. She regained her balance quickly but scrambled down to her niece's level, surprised at the young girl's choice of words.

"Of course not honey, what would make you say that? Where did you even hear that word? Was it that Psychic movie? Oh I KNEW you were too young for that!"

"No!" Alice shook her head adamantly, jutting her bottom lip out in a dramatic pout. "It's Psycho, and I'm twelve, so I'm old enough! I'm not a _baby_!"

Brenda scoffed, ready to lay down the law, but stopped when the redhead spoke up again, in a much softer and sadder tone.

"When Melanie was here earlier, s-she said her mom said I was a slut for having two marks. That it wasn't right, it was unnatural… Is that true?" Her voice broke as she felt the hot tears begin to prick at her eyes. She could still remember how people reacted last summer when she wore a two piece for the first time at the beach. One woman had assumed she had drawn one on herself, and spent almost five minutes lecturing her on how disrespectful it was.

"Am I- Is there something wrong with me?"

Her aunt lovingly shushed her and pulled her in close for a hug when she broke out into sobs. Alice gladly accepted the comforting gesture and folded herself into her arms. She said nothing and just continued rocking the young girl back and forth, letting her regain her bearings and waiting for her to speak up again.

"Are my marks why mommy only comes to see me on my birthday?" Her voice practically a whisper now, she looked up at the woman who had raised her nearly all her life. Brenda looked close to tears herself as she gently wiped away the tears that had made it down to her chin.

"No honey, not at all. Your mother…" She hesitated, not knowing how much she should say. "She does… very important work for the government. Sometimes dangerous work. She loves you very much, which is why you're here with me."

"She never _says_ she loves me." Alice dropped her gaze and fiddled with the tablecloth. The brunette caught her hands and rubbed soft circles into her palms.

"Katherine has never been the greatest at expressing her feelings. I know it's hard, but I've known her for decades now. I've seen her at her weakest. I can tell when she's telling the truth and I can say that without a doubt, that she loves you. Her visits mean a lot to her."

A bit startled by her aunt's conviction, she looked in her eyes again and saw nothing but honesty. Brenda absolutely believed what she was saying. She bit back a new wave of tears. A constriction she hadn't noticed loosened its hold on her heart.

"And as for Melanie's mother, well that's just a bitch being a bitch."

" _Auntie?!_ "

"Sorry, slip of the tongue- what I meant to say was that she just doesn't understand. People sometimes don't react well to new things. That doesn't make it acceptable or excusable, it just means that you shouldn't take what they say to heart. If anything you should pity people like Bernice, _who is an adult who can't keep her damn opinions to herself_ -"

"Pity her?" Now THAT really threw Alice off. Why on earth would she pity the woman who spoke so cruelly, especially if she was wrong?

"Honestly Al, because she will never have what you will, and she will never be like you." Brenda smiled gently at the confused child in her arms. "You should pity her and the rest of us, because your marks prove that your capacity to love and the love you will receive is twofold compared to everyone else. She will never get to experience that and I think deep down she is jealous. You are special, sweetheart. There's a reason this is a rarity and I can promise it's not a bad thing. You are a very lucky girl, and your soul mates are even luckier to have you."

She didn't realize it until her aunt was finished speaking, but she had instinctively gone to touch both of her marks. Her right hand traced the neat, even lettering that curved along the indentations of her left ribs. She was often envious of it- it was very careful and precise and easy to read, unlike her own girly looking chicken scratch. On her right side, her other hand skimmed across her forearm where another mark stood as a stark contrast against her pale skin. These words were written as though in a rush, nearly illegible at points with a sharpness to some of the lettering. The two men, based on their marks, could not be more different, but she had always had the strange hunch that they somehow knew each other.

"Auntie… Do you think…" She took a deep breath, then let the hardest question of all escape. "Do you think that they'll love me? As much as you say they will?"

"Oh honey," Brenda squeezed her hands and gave her a bright smile. "I think they already do."


	2. Trigger

_Almost all the characters in my stories have terrible relationships with their mothers... I think it's my own life leaking into my writing._  
 _I know it's a little slow to start, but please bear with me! It's gonna pick up pretty quickly here, just had to set some things up!_  
 _Let me know what you think. :) Thanks to everyone who has already reviewed!_

 _AsorenRM: Thank you, I hope I keep you hooked!_

 _Rindo Seiren: Thank you! My pleasure, I absolutely adore pre-serum Steve! There's going to be plenty more flashback excerpts, so you'll see more of him. I love poly soulmate AUs- there just aren't enough._

 _Tristana702: Thank you! I love me some StevexReaderxBucky, it's definitely a favorite!_

* * *

 **Columbus, Ohio – 2008**

Alice bounced her foot impatiently, craning her neck to see past all the harried looking students that filed past the little coffee shop on the outskirts of the campus. There was no sign of familiar red hair among them that she could see. Her mother was late, but that wasn't anything new. What WAS new, however, was her mother reaching out to set up a get together in the first place. She had been perfectly content to let their relationship lapse before, so her insistence on meeting was almost scary. Lifting her coffee to her lips delicately, she turned to the counter to scan again for her mom.

"Hello little rabbit." Immediately jumping and choking on the hot drink, her head snapped back again to find Katherine staring at her with a small, polite smile. She looked as business-like as ever with her severely tight ponytail falling to the middle of her neatly pressed suit jacket. Her thin, black framed glasses were perfectly straight and glossy without a single smudge to be seen. Alice tried not to think about what she must think of her own loose sweatpants and lopsided hair bun. As if reading her mind, her mother gave her a once-over that was so disappointing that her tiny smile disappeared beneath a severe frown.

"Oh! Hi." It took her a moment to remember the word. "Hi mom. Please, sit down! It's good to see you."

She rose from her chair to hug the older woman, but instead received a firm pat on the shoulder and a very strained smile. The sting of rejection had dulled over the years, but it still froze her before she sunk back into her seat.

"It truly is, dear." Katherine settled in and folded her hands together on the table. Alice bit her tongue when she saw her mother give a disgusted look at the sugary doughnut she had been picking at. There was a tense moment of silence while each woman sized the other up, unsure of how to start.

"How was your trip over here?"

"It went well, thank you."

"No uh, turbulence or anything?"

"No, it was smooth sailing as always."

"Good, good." Alice wiggled in her chair uncomfortably, taking a sip of her drink just to do something. This was a bust already. She poked the inside of her cheek with her tongue as she scraped her mind for common ground. Food? She had to eat, right? Suddenly an unbidden image of her mom slurping oil from a can marked "Robot Fuel" flashed into her mind. She coughed into her hands to disguise her snort of laughter, but she could see her mother's displeased look.

"Manners, Alice."

"I'm sorry, just a little bit of a cold is all..."

"Maybe if you ate something besides junk foodm you wouldn't be sick."

"Okay," Alice grinded her teeth. "I'll work on it."

Katherine leaned back slightly to look her over again.

"You're starting to get a little fat too. Keep an eye on that."

Alice, in both a show of spite and to keep herself from screaming something back, shoved a large piece of her doughnut into her mouth and chewed noisily.

They lapsed into silence again and the awkwardness drifted over them like a thick blanket. This was yet another non-surprise as it happened with every visit, and each time Alice grew more and more frustrated. The distance between them was at the very least constant; at the very most, it grew in light years with each failure to connect. She frowned at the thought and drew circles on her cup while she waited for her mom to talk. It was her turn to try after all, as per the routine.

"You look well otherwise. How are your classes going?" She did not disappoint.

"Oh pretty good, I'm almost done. I'll be graduating this year."

"I know, actually. That's the reason I called for this meeting." Al looked up at her, shocked by both the excitement in her voice as well as how she referred to this as a 'meeting'.

"What do you mean? Like a graduation party or something?" Leaning across the table, something light and airy and full of hope blossomed in her chest, melting away the latent anger that had steadily begun to burn.

"No no, nothing so trivial. I have an opportunity for you at my research facility." The wide grin that stretched across her face looked almost unnatural, matching the manic pace her voice had taken. "There is a spot open, and there is no better candidate available than you."

"So I'd be working with you?" She knew the answer even as she spoke, but she asked it anyways.

"No, I have other things to attend to. That has never been my domain. The lab is no place for people like me." Her mother waved the idea away impatiently. "It would be very advantageous for you to be a part of my team. We are so close to a breakthrough, I can feel it. We need this, we've been struggling for so long!" Alice found herself frozen in place, glaring down at the table between them.

"What would be in it for me, exactly?"

"What do you mean?" The older woman chuckled in confusion.

"All you've mentioned is how great it would be for you. What would it do for me? For us?"

Katherine opened and closed her mouth for a moment before catching herself. Her daughter watched her with a careful gaze and a heavy heart, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

"Well, it's a great opportunity."

"You said that already." Her snarky tone had the older woman biting her lip to keep from snapping.

"That, and my facility is fully equipped with everything to keep you happy. You'd be perfectly content there, and you would be doing important work for a great cause."

 _Tell me mommy, what would make me happy? Do you even know?_

"Anyone would kill for this position. It's unheard of for a new graduate to be in this kind of a program."

 _Do you even care?_

"So it's a research facility, huh? For what?" Alice tucked an unruly strand of hair behind her ear. Her brow furrowed as she sipped at her coffee, feeling the airy specter in her chest wither up like a flower baking in the sun.

"Evolution, honey. The next stage, biological perfection." Katherine's gaze was steady and determined unlike her daughter's shy and flitting one. "We are trying to break into the future and I think you could play a pivotal role in our discoveries."

The younger woman said nothing for a moment, studying the lady before her. There was no denying that this was her mother- even their hair was a dead give-away. Her mom's hair was a few shades darker than hers, closer to the autumn leaves that blew across campus than her own pumpkin-tinted locks. Their noses both turned up slightly at the end and their pale skin glowed together in the sunlight. Yes, this was the woman who birthed her, no doubt about that.

"No." The word fell from her lips much more easily than expected.

"I-what?" Katherine's navy blue eyes widened as she gaped at her in shock. "I don't understand."

"Let's go over this real quick then, and I'll talk slowly so that you might get it." Her mother's face flushed red in anger but she kept going. Her rage had been building this whole time, a dark mass coiling in her chest until there was no room for anything else.

"You _abandon_ me at birth with nothing but a 'see ya later kid!', and then practically ignore me for years. You only saw me once a year as some sort of pathetic birthday present that just made me feel even worse about myself, and _that_ was only so you could absolve some of your own guilt for leaving me in the first place! Clearing your own damn conscience does not make you a good mom, nor does it make you _my_ mom!"

"I had no choice." Katherine hissed out, try to quell her growing fury. "It wasn't safe to-"

"Bullshit!" Alice jumped up and slammed her palms down on the small table, not even registering the sound of her chair hitting the pavement. "You could have called or written any time, but you didn't! You could have hugged me, like a normal mom! You could have held me when I cried, or told me everything would be okay when I was bullied at school! Do you know what the kids used to say to me? Do you know what I went through?! Maybe you could have said the L word once, or even twice, and I wouldn't have felt so alone in the world! Hell, I didn't even get a 'congrats' from you when I graduated high school, or even now as I'm getting my degree! You were never there when I needed you- not _once_! Yet you have the _audacity_ to show up here, now, over twenty years late, with no apology and a _goddamn sales pitch_?!"

"Sit down and calm yourself, you're making a scene." She glowered at her child before her, who was too busy seething to notice all the whispers and stares from other students.

"Why should I care? It's not like anything else I've ever done has mattered to you." So furious she was shaking and ready to vomit, she stared the other woman down. Blue eyes met gray ones in a stand-off, neither willing to break down and effectively lose to the other. Alice's fingers trembled against the glass plane of the table as she stared with a fierceness she didn't know she had within her. Katherine stood up abruptly, not breaking their gazes.

"You're thinking with your emotions right now, not logic." She watched her daughter tense in anger, but took a curious note of the tears hidden in her eyes.

"My feelings matter too, no matter what you may think." Her voice shook in response to her cold tone and it was Katherine's turn to stiffen at the accusation.

"Feel free to contact me if you change your mind." Placing a simple looking business card on the table, she held out her hand to shake good bye. Alice stared at it like she'd never seen it before. She tried picturing this hand helping her open Christmas presents or wiping her tears or holding hers, but to no avail. You can't imagine warmth like that.

"Should I wait until my birthday to call, or are you not too busy for me when you stand to gain something?" Her voice was eerily quiet this time, with a finality that even Katherine couldn't bend. She dropped her hand and fixed her child with a disappointed glare before turning on her heel and marching away into the crowd.

Immediately Alice picked up the card and tore it into pieces, shoving them into her bag to dispose of later. She was blinking back hot tears as she gathered her things and picked up her chair. She didn't really understand why she was upset- seeing her walk away was the least surprising of all.


	3. Matriarch

_AsorenRM: Very south, and it doesn't exactly get better! ;)_

 _Annabear, Guests, Gilyflower, Kairi Nara: Thank you!_

 _Harmony: I hope it lives up to that promise! I'll be updating much quicker now._

 _ks90: I love them too, they're my fave AU! I'll update faster. I really hope you continue to like it!_

 _Katlolhogg: Typing up the next chapter later today!_

* * *

 **Sonoran Desert, Arizona – 2010**

Katherine's research facility turned out to be a small, discreet building out in the desert. It was almost hidden completely from sight, tucked down between several large rock formations. Walking in the door, she and her guide were greeted by nothing but tall dirty walls and an ominous elevator, doors already open for them. The building had appeared to be maybe two floors high but the elevator listed nearly twenty levels. When they reached the sixteenth floor, the doors slid open noisily to reveal her mother and a few armed guards.

"It's just a precaution, dear." She tittered, pulling Alice's attention away from them before dismissing them. The one closest to her, a dark-haired man with a goatee, made a point of looking her up and down and leering aggressively before stepping into the elevator with his friends.

Al glared back, refusing to look away from him until the doors closed. He winked mockingly back at her.

"So," She managed through gritted teeth. "Is 'asshole' a qualification for that position, by any chance?"

"Manners, Alice. Now come along." Katherine gave her a tiny smile before adding, "I'm so happy you're doing this."

She followed the older woman down the hall and couldn't help the rush of apprehension crashing down on her. There were no windows on any of the doors, which were made of some sort of thick, formidable looking metal. Instead of name plates or anything personal, each door had a number etched neatly into the wall next to it.

Her mom stopped at 1612 and opened it by scanning her badge under the knob, revealing a plain and almost empty office. She gestured toward an empty chair while she moved to the coffee pot to pour them each a cup.

"Sugar or cream?"

"No, black is fine." Alice fidgeted in her chair, freezing in place when her mother sat across the desk from her and handed her a mug. She made sure to sip daintily with her mother's gaze on her.

"So, you've read the files then?" Reaching into a drawer, she pulled out a stack of manila envelopes with serial numbers that Al easily recognized.

"Yes! They were actually very interesting! Genetic mutation, 'the next stage of evolution', as you said." Taking another large gulp of the sweet drink, she continued. "The only thing I'm a little confused about is what exactly that entails. There weren't many details in the reports."

"Well that all depends on the test subject." She flipped open the top file, running a fingernail across a few graphs. "Subject 1, for example, experienced a sudden spike in intelligence- an IQ double that of the starting point. Subject 4 developed enhanced senses, one of which was comparable to sonar."

"That's amazing! What species are you using? I didn't realize you guys were already on animal testing." The coffee was still terribly hot, but she finished off the cup before setting it to the side and pulling the papers closer.

"Mammals, actually." Katherine's grin was so large that all her teeth were showing. "We look for a particular pre-existing genome. It's passed down through the mother, so it's easy for us to track once we have sight of it."

Alice rubbed her temples as the familiar throbbing of an oncoming headache washed through her head. "And… And you've developed some sort of serum that… What, speeds up whatever the existing genome is capable of?"

"Exactly. The potential is already there, we just fast forward a few lifetimes."

"So how does the serum work? The files didn't really-" Al was cut off by her own gasp when a sharp pain snapped through her skull. The floor spun in dizzy circles as her vision blurred. She curled in on herself, cradling her head and squeezing her eyes shut.

"I don't.. I'm not feeling so goooooo…" Her voice trailed off as her fingers began to spasm, the muscles of her arms and legs clenching and unclenching painfully. She could hear Katherine push her chair back, but when she looked up all she could see was a red and white blur stepping towards her.

"Shh, it's okay. To answer your question, the abilities are released by extreme bursts of endorphins after injection with the serum. We run a strict regime of exercise and stressful situations. Humanely as possible, of course, as you'll soon see."

Alice's hearing went unaffected as her vision continued to grow even cloudier. Her muscles finally just gave out and she found herself sliding to the floor, her mother's hand guiding her and making sure she didn't hit her head on the way down. Fear overrode her humiliation when her bladder released unintentionally. She tried to cry out, but all that came out was a string of slurred syllables.

Katherine bent down gracefully so she could tilt her daughter's face to the side, perfect timing as Alice began to vomit violently. It tasted of coffee and bile and regret. She couldn't stop the whisper of a whimper that escaped her.

"Shh little dove. Let go. You start doing your part first thing in the morning." She could do nothing more than gape at her, vision finally going completely dark and her voice fading away.

"You should feel special- the genome is nearly one in ten thousand cases…"

The world crashed down on her mercilessly and left her alone in the dark.

* * *

 **2013 – New York**

Even in her pencil skirt, Maria Hill was absolutely determined to keep up with Steve's long strides as he made his way to the quinjet.

"Now we're not sure exactly how long the facility has been up and running, but we do know that they've had ample time to rack up quite the body count."

She passed him a few photographs, which had him grimacing at the graphic matter. He shoved them back at her almost immediately and rolled his shoulders back to try and erase what he had just seen.

"Human experimentation? What for? And why be so careless? You'd think they'd want to keep as many alive as possible."

"Desperation, maybe." Natasha appeared from seemingly out of nowhere, falling perfectly in step with her fellow Avenger. "Maybe they're trying to meet some sort of deadline."

"Maybe… It's our job to figure out why and how they're doing this, and who they're doing it for." Furrowing his brow, he adjusted his shield on his arm and pulled his mask down over his face. Without it, he sometimes still felt like just a scrawny kid.

"Toxicology still hasn't come back, so here's hoping that fills in some of the blanks. Good luck you two!" With that Maria gave them both a formal nod and turned down a side hall.

"Did you see the pictures?" Steve asked his partner quietly. She glanced at him knowingly.

"Yes, unfortunately. What was done to them was… Unnecessary."

"Have you seen anything like it before?"

"No, not for a long time." There was a beat of silence before Nat turned to face him with a small smirk.

"On a lighter note, have you tried talking to Lena in marketing yet?"

Steve cleared his throat, pointedly looking away. "Where is the lab, again?"

"We're coming back to that, Cap. But first we're going to Arizona. You'll love it."


End file.
